Man is Often the Carpenter of His Own Cross
Bill Cosby, Shannon Sharpe, Sean “Puffy” Combs and Cuba Gooding Jr. all suffered from the same issue. Self destruction.
The news last month of sports personality and podcast host Shannon Sharpe losing his job at ESPN after reaching a settlement in a sexual harassment lawsuit with a woman less than half his age is yet another reminder for Black men to learn how to master their lustful desires. OnlyFans model Gabriella Zuniga, 20, filed a lawsuit against Sharpe, 57, earlier this year. She accused Sharpe of making threats, coercion, and violence. The suit originally asked for $50 million but was reportedly settled for $23 million. Sharpe is just the latest in a long list of Black male celebrities in recent years who have lost their freedom, money, and credibility due to their insatiable sexual appetite.
Now I know men have been participating in this behavior since the beginning of time. However, men have also evolved since the days they were pulling women by the hair and dragging them into caves. Men must change their behavior toward women and how they are treated. For Black men in America, changing that behavior comes with even higher stakes to think about.
“There is a pattern playing out far too often. Men rising to prominence and then falling. Not because of a lack of talent or even a lack of discipline, but because of a lack of sexual self-control,” says Jason Wilson, author of The Man the Moment Demands. “You’ve been taught it is okay to follow your flesh instead of mastering it.”
“A man who keeps company with prostitutes destroys his wealth.”
Sean “Puffy” Combs is currently sitting in a jail cell on Rikers Island awaiting his fate after he was convicted on July 2 on two counts of interstate prostitution. Combs rose to prominence in the 1990s as a hip-hop mogul. He then created a popular clothing line, Sean John, and has acted in movies like “Monster’s Ball” and “Get Him to the Greek.” In 2022 he was estimated to have a net worth of $1 billion. Combs has also been romantically linked to beautiful women like Jennifer Lopez, Lori Harvey, Misa Hylton, and Naomi Campbell.
For all of his success and accolades, Combs too succumbed to lustful temptations. He began abusing women, in private and in public. The video of his disgraceful assault on singer Cassie will be a part of the public record against him for eternity. Here is a man, who was the son of a gangster that was murdered when Combs was a child, who made something of himself. He created employment for hundreds, if not thousands, of people. He rose to become one of the most influential figures in the entertainment industry, but instead of using his wealth to benefit others, he chose to indulge his own sexual desires. The now well-known “freak offs,” where all kinds of debauchery are alleged to have taken place, are what he will best be known for. He didn’t even get an endorsement for baby oil from the encounters. Combs has already lost a year of his freedom, as he has been held without bond. In October he will be officially sentenced for his crimes and could face a few more years behind bars.
Bill Cosby, America’s Dad, also happened to be a serial rapist. For decades, Cosby drugged and raped multiple women, according to over 60 victims and witnesses who have both testified against him in court and spoken with various media outlets. He was convicted of a crime, but a technicality overturned the conviction. He was also accused of raping women along with his buddy Hugh Hefner in the television show “Secrets of Playboy,” which aired in 2022. Mind you, Cosby was married while all of this was happening.
"Everybody that worked at the mansion knew that he (Cosby) was basically a predator," said Jim Ellis, a member of Hefner's executive protection team in the documentary. “He was at the mansion three to four times a week. He wasn't there to eat lunch.”
Justice for Cosby, however, came in the form of public admonishments. The numerous honorary degrees from universities were revoked; 97 in total. His television shows, including the classic “The Cosby Show,” were yanked from airwaves, meaning innocent cast members lost income since the show was no longer in syndication. The allegations effectively ended his career, caused him health issues, and destroyed his legacy.
Cuba Gooding Jr. is a talented actor who can’t keep his hands to himself. He starred in blockbuster films like “Jerry Maguire” with Tom Cruise and “What Dreams May Come,” opposite Robin Williams. He also has faced multiple lawsuits for allegations of sexual misconduct, including forcefully groping a woman in a bar and kissing a waitress on her lips without her consent. He has pled guilty to some of the behavior in criminal court and settled civil lawsuits to avoid even more criminal charges. While he still has his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Gooding Jr. hasn’t come close to reaching the success he once had. Once considered an A-list actor, he is now in mostly low-budget films that nobody wants to see.
Broken homes and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases are often the byproducts of uncontrolled lust among men. This behavior also detracts from generational wealth building, as men waste their money on side chicks, prostitutes, or pornography. How much could Shannon Sharpe have done for his alma mater, Savannah State University, a historically Black college in Georgia, with the reported $23 million he paid out in the settlement to Zuniga? What could Combs have done for the community with the millions he is spending in lawyer fees trying to avoid prison time? How many more educational and inspiring roles could Gooding Jr. have played, similar to the U.S. Navy’s first Black American diver Carl Brashear in “Men of Honor”?
“If you don’t master your lust, your lust will master you.”
Our actions have consequences. What we do today echoes throughout eternity. If Black men stop pursuing intimacy with our women to focus on stroking our ego and penises, our community will continue to suffer the consequences. Zuniga can now retire from OnlyFans at the age of 20 and has created generational wealth for herself and her family thanks to Sharpe. Gooding Jr.’s actions suggest that a role intended for a Black actor to narrate our history may now go untold. All of Cosby’s inspirational speeches delivered at college graduations and the books he has written about improving the Black nation are now viewed with suspicion. Combs’ marathon running to inspire Black men to get in shape and his no longer being in the music producing game mean a Black artist might not have a shot at breaking through in the entertainment business.
As I write this article, I can’t help but think of the lyrics from “Holy Grail” by Jay-Z: “I know nobody to blame, Kurt Cobain, I did it to myself.”